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Recently a first Mom friend of mine was interviewed for an internet show. She is a new Mom, it's been only six months, and the adoptive parents have closed their agreed upon open adoption. (which seems to happen more often than not in so called open adoptions today)

After the show aired there were quite a few comments left that were anywhere from sympathetic to hateful. After reading through some of the comments, it was shocking to see some of the negative responses. Statements that first Moms who want to have contact with their child are merely wanting a babysitter, to drop in and out of her child's life whenever she chooses. They just don't understand how important it is to most adoptees to truly know where they came from and for Moms to know their child is healthy and happy. We don't want to interfere with the parenting, that isnt our job anymore, but we want to be there for our child to answer questions and give them our love. They deserve that.

It seems that people are stuck in the 1950's when it comes to adoption. They think a first parents should be erased from the picture, much like our names on the original birth certificate. We are suppose to keep quiet and swallow our pill gratefully.

As for my friend, my wish for her is to have healing and peace. She is an amazing young woman.


  1. Man. Wtf? I'm so glad I didn't read the comments. This was on the edited version, right? All the ones I read on the non-edited one seemed pretty positive!

    1. Im not sure what version I read so maybe it was the non edited? Some were pretty harsh and went along the lines of wanting to have her cake and eat it too and I didn't read through them all only the first 4-5 pages or so.

    2. The edited one was only 2 minutes long with just me. The other one was 26 minutes and had Joe Soll and Claudia and someone else speaking too. What exactly is my "cake" that I have? My daughter is gone...there's no fucking cake that I have to speak of.

    3. ooohh yes the comments were from the edited. Sorry I wasnt reading the right.

    4. It's okay! Yeah the edited comments were SO nasty from what I heard...some people have nothing better to do than bash a stranger. I doubt they'd even have the strength to live life as a birthmother and deal with the pain we do every day. No room for them to judge!