The day before she was born.
The day before I went into labor an incredible thing happened. As I was two weeks overdue and my parents had planned a trip out of town to visit my grandma, I went to stay with some friends of the family. They lived in a beautiful house at the top of a steep hill overlooking a stunning valley.
As I was waiting for their daughter, who was about my age, to get home from school, I went and sat on a three seater swing they had that faced the beautiful valley below. As I was sitting there enjoying the cool spring breeze and the beautiful view I had a rush of feelings come over me…like my baby was reaching out to bond with me. For most of the pregnancy I had somewhat tried to disconnect myself from her because I knew she wouldn't be mine. But in those moments the love I had for her flowed through my veins. It was an amazing moment. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED being pregnant. I loved to feel her moving around in there. I loved at doctor appointments listening to her heart beating. Even though I relished those things I knew I couldn't keep her, that she wouldn't be mine, so I kept my heart at a distance. But in that moment it was like she was trying to say..hey I'm here! It was such a rush of love for her that I had been trying to keep at bay. I loved my baby more than I knew I did and that love, just a day before she was born, was beginning to seep into my soul.