Well it wasn't as horrific as I thought it would be!! The wedding (pt. 2) had hit me like a brick and blindsided me that I assumed the baby shower would do the same. But it didn't. Between gearing up for it with my therapist, some inner work and support from my incredible first Mom friends (you know who you are!) I sailed through it.
Of course there were a few difficult times...like the talk about what they are naming the baby and others comparing pregnancy notes, the rest wasn't too bad. I walked in like it was just an ordinary day, hugged her adoptive Mom and the conversation between her, her friends and I just flowed. When the pregnancy and childbirth came up, at first I began to clam up, but then I realized...hey this is reality sitting right here! I gave birth to her and I'm not hiding or pretending that I didn't!! So I joined into the conversation a little bit! It was quite empowering and no one gave me any looks.
My fear of facing her mother in law again was high on the list and that went well too. When she approached our table my back was to her and I think I took her by surprise when I turned around and said in a cheerful voice like I was happy to see her and a smile, held out my hand and said oh hi!!! No dirty look this time or looking me up and down.
Also as I was walking past one of her mother in law sisters she stopped me and asked (nicely of course) who I was. When I told her she got a huge smile and hugged me saying something to the effect of..oohhh really??? She was very glad to have met me!
So overall it was an incredible trip. V and I totally reconnected with each other again and I hope this is the start of a new relationship with her.
I wonder if because over the years of being a first Mom we automatically revert back to when things were the most painful then expect to feel that way when put in a situation like this.
So glad it was a positive experience!
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